So many reasons for my recent disruption in blogging. There was a blizzard with five foot high snow drifts that buried my car..(NO JOKE), have had multiple doctor appointments for my knee, my knee has been bothering me quite a bit, and school has been keeping me quite busy as well. Nonetheless, I've made some recent observations from planet mommy that I think you all should be aware of.
Boys...they really are born that way. I swear.
So I didn't believe it myself but it's true. They really are born all afterburner and no rudder. Women have been under the guise for centuries that this is an acquired sense of haste and habit. No no ladies. This aspect of men is born ingrained. Case in point...my son. I was watching him crawl around on the floor the other day. There were no toys out for him to play with but instead some random things that i had left out by accident (my poor babyproofing skills..I know.). There was a balloon that he randomly went after....played with a while...looked up...then my laptop cord caught his eye..and he shimmied over to that...played with that for awhile...then went over to play with sock out of the laundry basket....played with that for awhile....and went to look for things under the couch. It was this unrelenting sense of going from one thing on to the next that I began to understand....men really can't be monogomous! They act the same way with women!! They have a girlfriend...play with her for awhile..look up..find one they find more attractive...go after her for awhile..find another....etc....etc. I can tell you this...after having a son...I will definitely be trying to change my husband a LOT less. After going to dinner with my son the other night and having my arms become tired after having to thwart his continuous efforts to reach and touch everything near or around him on the table I am becoming to understand the male psyche a bit more indepth. The same still remains true however..men always want what they can't have ;).
So my question is...if wondermoms do exist...have they ever met their match? My Grandmother Pearl, for instance, raised five boys. I'm sure, prior to them, she was a perfectly sane, neat, and intellectual woman. I'm unsure that those five boys left the woman that way at the end of her life however ;). I heard all sorts of stories about trips to the doctor's offices, neverending mending, fixing, and reprimanding...but I truly wonder...did she meet her match? I often wonder if my son is the straw that will break this camel's back....let alone five carbon copy's of him??! The thought makes me want to go lie down.
Where's the parental questionnaire? You know...the one that allows you to check boxes 1-5. 1 meaning you highly disagree and 5 meaning you highly agree that your job as a parent is thankless and highly stressful. Where's that question that asks how often on a daily basis you want to put your head back under the covers? But then there are those days that have you crying tears of joy for how amazing your children are. What type of schizophrenic bipolar freak animal experiment is this parenting thing anyhow??!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Joy
Joy. Happiness. Enthusiasm. Wonder Mom's have it all. And the media/retail companies would like to make you think so. I woke up around 1 a.m. to my son crying and my husband giving a frustrated sigh and throwing the baby into my arms. I consoled him for about an hour before he finally fell asleep. He was fed, he was changed, his blankets and pacifier were adjusted "just so" but to no avail....he continued to be upset. My son...not my husband ;). (badumpbump!...stick around...I'm here all night!)
Somehow during my efforts to return my son to slumber I was capable of conjuring up visions of the most recent parent I saw on packaging. It was a calm and happy woman watching her baby sleep from afar on the packaging to his baby mobile. She was dressed in a comfy robe, had a smile on her face, and looked like she'd just had her make up done with a clean ponytail coiff.
I reflected on how I must look during this moment in life. Here I was, in my grey velour jogging suit...on the heavy side...hair pulled back into a lump on the top of my head with last nights makeup on that I was entirely way too tired to wash off. Mascara lined the underside of my eyelids and highlighted the dark circles/bags perfectly.
Why did it matter at 1 a.m.? Why, with an impending blizzard closing in on our locale, with my son fussing, and my five year old crying about how she didn't want to take more tylenol for her fever (FYI we're all sick during this as well...uber lovely) did it even occur to me?? Because the current state of affairs were opposite of what I'd seen recently portrayed to me as the "norm." Research shows that suggestion via these methods of marketing is high. Could this method of marketing be detrimental to our health? Could companies responding to mothers from a retail standpoint selling us everything under the sun to make our lives easier and lighten the burden of mothering really be pushing us into depression, guilt, self-loathing, etc? I think the question deserves some attention...but @ 2:50 in the a.m. I can't really get into all that. Definitely a blog post for the future however...stay tuned. I'll be trying to sleep...if my family will allow that ;).
Somehow during my efforts to return my son to slumber I was capable of conjuring up visions of the most recent parent I saw on packaging. It was a calm and happy woman watching her baby sleep from afar on the packaging to his baby mobile. She was dressed in a comfy robe, had a smile on her face, and looked like she'd just had her make up done with a clean ponytail coiff.
I reflected on how I must look during this moment in life. Here I was, in my grey velour jogging suit...on the heavy side...hair pulled back into a lump on the top of my head with last nights makeup on that I was entirely way too tired to wash off. Mascara lined the underside of my eyelids and highlighted the dark circles/bags perfectly.
Why did it matter at 1 a.m.? Why, with an impending blizzard closing in on our locale, with my son fussing, and my five year old crying about how she didn't want to take more tylenol for her fever (FYI we're all sick during this as well...uber lovely) did it even occur to me?? Because the current state of affairs were opposite of what I'd seen recently portrayed to me as the "norm." Research shows that suggestion via these methods of marketing is high. Could this method of marketing be detrimental to our health? Could companies responding to mothers from a retail standpoint selling us everything under the sun to make our lives easier and lighten the burden of mothering really be pushing us into depression, guilt, self-loathing, etc? I think the question deserves some attention...but @ 2:50 in the a.m. I can't really get into all that. Definitely a blog post for the future however...stay tuned. I'll be trying to sleep...if my family will allow that ;).
Monday, January 31, 2011
Just Do It
So I'd like you to do a little something for me. Type in your favorite search engine field "wonder mommy". Tell me what you find. The results astounded me. All of these women label themselves "wonder mommies" but the question is...by whose standard?
I've been told by several friends and family members what an amazing mom I am. They have no idea how I find the time to do what I do. A lot of people ask me for advice. They want to know how I "do it all." The answer is....you have to do what works for you. And FYI...I don't get it ALL done a lot of days. Sometimes..the laundry has to be laundry for a while. Sometimes it sits in disorganized arrays of baskets until I can fold it a few days later. Sometimes the dishes don't get washed. The housekeeping suffers. It's liveable but if you want to know where your favorite pair of bunny underwear are...well...you'll have to wait a couple days till I can find them. IT always boarders on a little bit of chaos, but this is the exchange we pay for having a mommy who is a full time student, full time worker, wife, mother, pet owner, daughter, and professional. Every moment of every day is a choice for me. Many days, I am not dressed in my Sunday's finest. This doesn't make me any less of a woman or mother...it makes me smart. I choose the energy I expend on all things because there is a limited supply as we all know. Because I'm a nurse I can explain this theory and topic to a bit more detail than most.
In the event of crisis or severe amounts of stress (let's face it..that's life) the body goes into "fight or flight" response. During periods of fight, or flight....you lose circulation to parts of your body that don't necessarily require full on amounts of circulation to do their jobs so your heart and brain stay oxygenated instead. So this means...and translates into mommydom this way: The necessities are taken care of...everything else is a bit dodgey. What are the necessities you ask? Everyone is fed, clothed, loved, safe, educated, and for the most part...happy. When I say everyone of course I'm referring to my children. They are loved on and spoiled beyond belief. I on the other hand...again...am running full speed ahead on tanks empty most days. But again..the price we pay for a stable life. Some people would suggest that I cut down at work, or school. Well people....that's not possible. Financially we need a second full time income in addition to my husband's and in terms of school I need to finish as quickly as possible in order to minimize the financial ramifications associated.
As moms, daughters, wives...we press onward and forward. We keep trudging uphill for those we love. Not to be successful but to fulfill our promises. Promises are the basis of everything. I've promised my children that I would love and nurture them to the best of my ability. I've promised my husband my undying love, devotion, dedication, and diligence. I've promised my parents an opportunity to be proud of me. I've promised my sisters emergent help, love, and laughs. I've promised my college to be an exemplary nurse. I've promised my job to be an exemplary employee. I've given away a good share of the pie. So what's left for me??! That wonderful, tasty little sliver that I savor until there is nothing left.
Parenthood and marriage don't lend themselves to selfish ambitions. They are completely selfless acts. So where does the fuel come from? There's only one answer to that question folks and it's GOD. No one, even those proclaimed to be self labeled Wonder Mommies have the power to do what they do on a daily basis without HIM. Wether they chose to acknowledge HIM in it or not...He's still the one driving force in your life regardless of your choice to believe. He mirrors HIS relationship with us through our relationship with others. HE selflessly gives HIMSELF to everything, everyone, and everywhere everyday. So when I don't have a whole bunch left....I look to HIM for it ALL.
Maybe there is such a thing as a Wonder Mommy. We will truly see. HE designs all things..so it's very possible there's a little Wonder Mommy in us all. Think about it.
~ Morethanamommy
I've been told by several friends and family members what an amazing mom I am. They have no idea how I find the time to do what I do. A lot of people ask me for advice. They want to know how I "do it all." The answer is....you have to do what works for you. And FYI...I don't get it ALL done a lot of days. Sometimes..the laundry has to be laundry for a while. Sometimes it sits in disorganized arrays of baskets until I can fold it a few days later. Sometimes the dishes don't get washed. The housekeeping suffers. It's liveable but if you want to know where your favorite pair of bunny underwear are...well...you'll have to wait a couple days till I can find them. IT always boarders on a little bit of chaos, but this is the exchange we pay for having a mommy who is a full time student, full time worker, wife, mother, pet owner, daughter, and professional. Every moment of every day is a choice for me. Many days, I am not dressed in my Sunday's finest. This doesn't make me any less of a woman or mother...it makes me smart. I choose the energy I expend on all things because there is a limited supply as we all know. Because I'm a nurse I can explain this theory and topic to a bit more detail than most.
In the event of crisis or severe amounts of stress (let's face it..that's life) the body goes into "fight or flight" response. During periods of fight, or flight....you lose circulation to parts of your body that don't necessarily require full on amounts of circulation to do their jobs so your heart and brain stay oxygenated instead. So this means...and translates into mommydom this way: The necessities are taken care of...everything else is a bit dodgey. What are the necessities you ask? Everyone is fed, clothed, loved, safe, educated, and for the most part...happy. When I say everyone of course I'm referring to my children. They are loved on and spoiled beyond belief. I on the other hand...again...am running full speed ahead on tanks empty most days. But again..the price we pay for a stable life. Some people would suggest that I cut down at work, or school. Well people....that's not possible. Financially we need a second full time income in addition to my husband's and in terms of school I need to finish as quickly as possible in order to minimize the financial ramifications associated.
As moms, daughters, wives...we press onward and forward. We keep trudging uphill for those we love. Not to be successful but to fulfill our promises. Promises are the basis of everything. I've promised my children that I would love and nurture them to the best of my ability. I've promised my husband my undying love, devotion, dedication, and diligence. I've promised my parents an opportunity to be proud of me. I've promised my sisters emergent help, love, and laughs. I've promised my college to be an exemplary nurse. I've promised my job to be an exemplary employee. I've given away a good share of the pie. So what's left for me??! That wonderful, tasty little sliver that I savor until there is nothing left.
Parenthood and marriage don't lend themselves to selfish ambitions. They are completely selfless acts. So where does the fuel come from? There's only one answer to that question folks and it's GOD. No one, even those proclaimed to be self labeled Wonder Mommies have the power to do what they do on a daily basis without HIM. Wether they chose to acknowledge HIM in it or not...He's still the one driving force in your life regardless of your choice to believe. He mirrors HIS relationship with us through our relationship with others. HE selflessly gives HIMSELF to everything, everyone, and everywhere everyday. So when I don't have a whole bunch left....I look to HIM for it ALL.
Maybe there is such a thing as a Wonder Mommy. We will truly see. HE designs all things..so it's very possible there's a little Wonder Mommy in us all. Think about it.
~ Morethanamommy
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Wonder Mommy....does it again?
So no responses from yesterday's post but we'll just call it growing pains ;). At any rate, I was talking with my sister yesterday about my blogging plans and she gave me some really excellent insight on where I'm headed with this thing. Let's face it, I'm not an expert at blogging. It was like playing with a best friend as a child who had the coolest toy that you begged your parent to buy you and they eventually caved. So you get the thing home, you tear into the box, but you realize you have no idea how to play with it. Time to call your friend who already has that toy, because you are clueless :).
We talked over some really key components of my blog. She said it sounded like a rant. Seriously people...crickets went over at that point. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't accept criticism all that well so of course I went into it with her about why it WASN'T a rant. Eventually she saw my point. I grabbed the nearest magazine I have aimed at parents (trust me there are like nine I subscribe to) and flipped through the pages at her. Page after page after page displayed all these women (models, half of them not even having children of their own I'm sure) draped across the pages in their clean homes, watching their genetically superior progeny write a symphony while they play. Well, maybe not a symphony but have you paid attention to some of the ads we see on a day to day basis? My fave is Kelly Ripaa. Here this lady is with a muscular toned body, a family, and she's the spokesperson for electrolux. In this commercial she's magically whipping up snacks for her kids and effortlessly going about the laundry all while looking like she doesn't even have children. Even the diaper box staring back at me when I walk into my son's room has this women on it smiling back at me like she's the best mom ever.
Am I jealous? I would be lying if I didn't admit that deep down inside somewhere past all the papers I have due, my issues at work, my husbands issues at work, my children's to do lists for school, the to do list for the house, that pair of socks in the hallway thought and the shirt of the back of the chair memory....It's in there. I really do yearn for that type of "put-togetherness" but I think it happens to be a bit more rare than what media would like to lead on.
The last mom I encountered was in the grocery store line holding her three year old (yep...3) wearing sweatpants, a shirt with juice stains on it, and her hair pulled up into a bun/pony (it was a tad messy so yes...it looked like a bun but had portions falling out so technically it qualified as a pony) tail. Her 3 year old was throwing Cheetos on the floor, had orange sticky fingers, and was telling his mom to pick them up.
Did I judge this woman? Do we as a society judge this woman? I observed her physical appearance and demeanor with her son, but deep down...I knew where she was coming from. This woman was exhausted. She didn't care what her son was saying at that point because she'd escaped to Mommy land. Ahh..mommy land. Such a nice place to retreat to for awhile. There's everything you like there and everything you've ever dreamed of in this place. It hangs off the walls with a white angelic hue, almost as if you're in a store! Shopping, everything you love and have ever dreamed...right there in boutique-esque fun....I digress. And not even just mom's encounter this. It's not isolated just to the mom population.
Men..you have man land. It consists of cars you've always wanted, women you've always wished you had, that one you saw yesterday that required you to pull your jaw off the floor, your boss floating away on a cloud out the door, and other man type fantasies. You escape there every chance you have...(date night when there isn't a game on in the restaurant to watch...can I get an Amen ladies??!).
We all have ways of coping. Maybe a juice stained t-shirt and sweats was all she could muster that day. Maybe when picking her battles her bun/pony was the choice of the moment versus the extra 10 minutes she didn't have for a blown out, flattened, and shiny coif. Some people would say this is letting go of yourself. But what if it was really choosing the less of two evils? What if it was a desperate choice in a sea of choices? What if she was really clinging to every buoy around her in a sea of choices? Is that really letting go...or is it fighting?
We talked over some really key components of my blog. She said it sounded like a rant. Seriously people...crickets went over at that point. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't accept criticism all that well so of course I went into it with her about why it WASN'T a rant. Eventually she saw my point. I grabbed the nearest magazine I have aimed at parents (trust me there are like nine I subscribe to) and flipped through the pages at her. Page after page after page displayed all these women (models, half of them not even having children of their own I'm sure) draped across the pages in their clean homes, watching their genetically superior progeny write a symphony while they play. Well, maybe not a symphony but have you paid attention to some of the ads we see on a day to day basis? My fave is Kelly Ripaa. Here this lady is with a muscular toned body, a family, and she's the spokesperson for electrolux. In this commercial she's magically whipping up snacks for her kids and effortlessly going about the laundry all while looking like she doesn't even have children. Even the diaper box staring back at me when I walk into my son's room has this women on it smiling back at me like she's the best mom ever.
Am I jealous? I would be lying if I didn't admit that deep down inside somewhere past all the papers I have due, my issues at work, my husbands issues at work, my children's to do lists for school, the to do list for the house, that pair of socks in the hallway thought and the shirt of the back of the chair memory....It's in there. I really do yearn for that type of "put-togetherness" but I think it happens to be a bit more rare than what media would like to lead on.
The last mom I encountered was in the grocery store line holding her three year old (yep...3) wearing sweatpants, a shirt with juice stains on it, and her hair pulled up into a bun/pony (it was a tad messy so yes...it looked like a bun but had portions falling out so technically it qualified as a pony) tail. Her 3 year old was throwing Cheetos on the floor, had orange sticky fingers, and was telling his mom to pick them up.
Did I judge this woman? Do we as a society judge this woman? I observed her physical appearance and demeanor with her son, but deep down...I knew where she was coming from. This woman was exhausted. She didn't care what her son was saying at that point because she'd escaped to Mommy land. Ahh..mommy land. Such a nice place to retreat to for awhile. There's everything you like there and everything you've ever dreamed of in this place. It hangs off the walls with a white angelic hue, almost as if you're in a store! Shopping, everything you love and have ever dreamed...right there in boutique-esque fun....I digress. And not even just mom's encounter this. It's not isolated just to the mom population.
Men..you have man land. It consists of cars you've always wanted, women you've always wished you had, that one you saw yesterday that required you to pull your jaw off the floor, your boss floating away on a cloud out the door, and other man type fantasies. You escape there every chance you have...(date night when there isn't a game on in the restaurant to watch...can I get an Amen ladies??!).
We all have ways of coping. Maybe a juice stained t-shirt and sweats was all she could muster that day. Maybe when picking her battles her bun/pony was the choice of the moment versus the extra 10 minutes she didn't have for a blown out, flattened, and shiny coif. Some people would say this is letting go of yourself. But what if it was really choosing the less of two evils? What if it was a desperate choice in a sea of choices? What if she was really clinging to every buoy around her in a sea of choices? Is that really letting go...or is it fighting?
Friday, January 28, 2011
Inaugural launch of Wonder Mommy Myth
So is it true?? You know...the Wonder Mommy Myth. Do they exist? Do women who have children truly have it all together? Can women balance work, school, raising families, and manage the multitude of other things vying for their attention? I'm out to search for the answer and to truly provide answers to all these questions. Does society believe that Wonder Mom exists? Does media or social expectation play into the Wonder Mom phenomenon? That's right...I said "Wonder Mom Phenomenon." I coined the term folks; you heard it here first. ;) As women and mothers do we truly need another pressure or expectation to live up to as the Wonder Mom Phenomenon swirls across our t.v.'s, in our magazines, and through our in-laws. Let's examine these topics shall we??!
In the meantime, I'd love to hear your feedback. Are you a Wonder Mom? Is it a self proclaimed title? Do others view you as a Wonder Mom? Are you a psuedo Wonder Mom? Do you pretend to be one yourself but underneath it all, you're drowning on a daily basis? Let's hear it ladies!! I'd even appreciate a male perspective from this topic because perhaps this myth was perpetuated by men. We'll never know until we start digging..so let's get down to business! See you tomorrow in the blogosphere.... ~Morethanamommy
In the meantime, I'd love to hear your feedback. Are you a Wonder Mom? Is it a self proclaimed title? Do others view you as a Wonder Mom? Are you a psuedo Wonder Mom? Do you pretend to be one yourself but underneath it all, you're drowning on a daily basis? Let's hear it ladies!! I'd even appreciate a male perspective from this topic because perhaps this myth was perpetuated by men. We'll never know until we start digging..so let's get down to business! See you tomorrow in the blogosphere.... ~Morethanamommy
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